Welcome to Neverland

Producer with the Lost Boys...

Want to update on my class presentation called Peter, Peter Pan and how it changed my life... but that will come later.. for more pictures.. they are all over my FB.

I'd just like to say that these kind of things make it harder for me to leave my job.

:D

Vent 2.0

I just wanna vent. Argh. Yes, it's shoe shopping time.. if you get what I mean.

So today was the first day after a week, being back in the hell-hole. Stomach cramps aside, I was called into a 'meeting' with a few notorious people. I already knew what it was about. I skipped a so-called 'training' on the Saturday right before the Masterclass at FINAS. I thought I could get away since I'd be away for a week.

What did I learn from that?

1. My superior is too chicken to say it to my face that he had to wait ONE WEEK to make sure I was in the 'meeting' to tell us our mistakes in a 'general' kind of way.

2. He loves me so much, he 'used' two of my colleagues who had a solid excuse for not attending the training... just to make me feel 'safe'.

Jobstreet is a friend, yeah jobstreet is a friend of mine... oh ohhh~

...

On another note;

Remember the girl best friend? She's back again, doing the sarcastic bit she's so good at. MOTIF????? I would say Fuck you - but I'm really not in the mood - and do not want to give her the pleasure of it anyway.

The best thing about it is if he brushes it aside, or even worse, tells her how I feel about her; lol. Ah, well. Isn't her fault she reminds me of that girl from the past. Hahaha. Isn't my fault, too. Hahahahahaa.

of jehan miskin

Children, do you know about when I befriended an actor for the very first time?

The training has ended officially. Today, I finally get the chance to be a paparazzi even after sitting next to said actor for 3 days. :D

I feel it's story I will tell our grandchildren one day... eh, not me and Jehan's grandchildren laaa.. hahahahah tolong jangan salah paham kthx.

I want to remember the things I learned from him.

Aside from the stuff I've been constantly updating you about via facebook; like being able to act out a scene from Aiko & the Wind Fairies with him (he was Ojii-san, Aiko's grandpa. I was Aiko!), going to lunch with him, buying him lunch etc etc etc, he has inspired me to continue to write.

There was one part where we needed to present our scripts. It's not easy writing a script especially when an actor and creative director are hovering over your work. It was like, you have no experience in the industry at all, and there you are, putting your everything on the table. It felt like hell!

But at the end of my presentation; he wrote on his notepad something that went like this -

Well done. Write for Mastermind, scripts for TV. Then film. Maybe.

:D

What does it feel like? Is it tiring? I asked him, somewhat near the end of our tour, we were walking together but he was constantly approached by people who wanted a photo with him.

No, I just wish I could get 10 cents for every picture, was what he replied. LOL

That's why if you noticed, there's no 'forced' duo portrait of him and I. I just couldn't be one of them.

J is really a great person period. I'm so gonna become his fan now. Hahaha XD /jiggydance.

Scriptwriting Training

My baby's gone baccck. *sings sorrowfully~*

M has gone to Penang to house/cat-sit. :( I'm in my last weeks of the semester, which can be very hectic, so I'm well taken care of.

Plus, there is the new thing that's going on now....

It's the 3rd day of training. (Dah 3 hari tak pegi keje!!! Bessttt!)

And as you might have noticed I've been mentioning Jehan Miskin alot in FB. Not that I'm a fan, but he came and sat down next to me in training and since then we've been chummy! Plus, I have a theory that people I know whose names start with J are fabulous. Jamel Nasir, Jason Mraz, Jon Bauer from Melbourne, Jon Klaude from MMU, just to name a few. Or I just love names that start with J.

His friend Peter is an experienced Creative Director who has worked in 8tv and now has his own production house with Jehan. My partner-in-crime is Nani, 23 year old UITM student doing her Degree in Scriptwriting.

It's the exact change that I needed, somehow my superior did something right for once.

Because we are the 'young' group, we get along well. And I just can't resist the temptation of menumpang glamour moments like saying "omg jehan sat next to me", "omg i ate lunch with jehan", "omg i'm jehan's best friend for the week" or "omg jehan came to me and shook my hand"... to almost everyone :P

That aside, as a normal person he is friendly. Articulate, well mannered. And has good english, which is most important of it all. And treats me like a normal person as well. Not like an outsider who does not and could not possibly understand... you know... an actor. Abang Fai confirmed that Ahmad Idham was damn sombong.

I missed Hans Isaac coming to school the other day. Everyone got to take pictures with him! So rugi. Hahaha. Nanti dah resign, tak dapatlah jumpa anymore celebrities..

Sometimes I try to imagine, what if the person who happened to attend the training and sat next to me was.. you know.. Jason Mraz or Ed Westwick, ya know? :D

Let me tell you about my peculiar day

Stayed up til late doing the above homework for my training course - which is fun by the way - I get to postpone my classes for the whole week (which is something you can get fired for if you do without permission here - I find that rather amusing, because back in our days lecturers canceled classes with all glory..) - and the trainer is really cool. It's the first official (validated) training I've received in my one year here. only one year, really?

Well anyway, after the hard work - the trainer didn't ask for the assignment. :(

At lunch, suddenly the L-girl joined us uninvited again.. and she spent the whole time there hanging back like a guy would... and was talking to someone on her phone about some meeting... like, seriously? Then she up and left. After lunch, she pulled C aside and they went for a ciggie break, leaving me to walk back to the office alone. How high school~

Anyway after training, I had this sudden urge to pack up and leave at 6pm on the dot, even though I had more homework to do... but I delayed it... wrong move! A superior dropped a stack of papers for me to proofread. Hahaha. If only I had just left.

At 6.30pm, the exit into SK gets a little crowded, like few kilometres crowded.. and it's easy to miss getting into the queue (especially if you're very polite and don't like cutting queues.. which I'm not by the way..) and somehow today I felt polite and just couldn't get myself to cut the queue and just drove straight... when I realized there's no u-turn before the Puchong toll... and realized I only had RM5 in my purse.. hahaha. So I decided to drive straight to Shah Alam. I was already past one of the tolls, I might as well go the whole way to meet M... right?

Wrong.. tried calling him for one hour since I missed the exit, and he didn't answer. Was getting all anxious until I reached his house to check if he was back (which he was not, and I knew that) because he was at his friend's place... a place which I don't actually remember the way... haha... so I made rounds in Sect. 8, my old home.. 51 Jalan Liku 8/1 - :D - my childhood house where I used to pass love notes through the balcony grill to the next door neighbour (cheesy tak?) and to find out - just as that young love was blooming - that we were moving, to the farthest state possible. Why not just move to a different country and get it over with - I had thought as a child, haha.

Eh, lari topic da.

Anyway, I was just past the surau tempat mengaji / semayang terawikh (pegi naik beskal ok) when M called, and finally we met up at McD and went to makan tomyam (totally irrelevant)..

Around 9pm I head back using Federal, and gosh there are so many exits from that Shah Alam exit until that Sunway exit.. I don't know what happened but I went onto this ramp that actually was not Sunway exit, then there was a u-turn, I was relieved, but then there was kinda like a fork road so I used the beforesaid 'instinct' and took the left.. which actually brought me back onto the Federal as I wanted to be...

but in the opposite direction.

Yes. I was heading back to Shah Alam.

Here was when I realized the iPhone is hard to type sms-es on while driving (I want a google-voice activated app for smsing!). Hence the call for help to M. He guided me somewhat towards Subang Jaya - Sunway Pyramid and kinda got an epiphany as well when I somehow just emerged next to SS15. :) Good ol SS15!

Ah, and just before the Sunway toll, I realized that my driving license expires today. Hope there are no traffic policemen reading this blog. If there is, well, hello Sir.. I have loads of single young girlfriends.

Finally home sweet home, nothing worser can happen right? Think again. I left my training folder in the car after I'm cosily in my pyjamas.. and dear Mama texts me to ask if I've renewed my driving license.. hahaha!

Well, that's my peculiar day.

Oh, and since our trainer is teaching us to look at things from another perspective, my perspective is this: my day was good because I didn't bump any of my body parts into any hard / sharp surfaces today.

Cheers. Looking forward to the events lined up with the girls this week / next week.

*bumps her kneee on the corner of the bed*

Of leaving and jetplanes

An afternoon by the lake. If only it were Melbourne - so Emy and I keep saying to ourselves!

I hate when people leave me. On cars, on planes. But it's always okay if I'm the one leaving.

My best pal H who sat behind me for two months has now left for a reality show - me and the housemate plan on getting Astro now just for Star World, for when the show starts. He's been such an inspiration, I think I might just start working on that book I've left behind...

People are still unhappy around me, and I am unhappy as well.

Doesn't help that there's this very irritating Lesbian person - L, we called her - who thinks she's a dude who keeps hanging around us all the time. The fact that she keeps hanging around us is the most irritating part. I feel like screaming - I am not your friend! Just because you're someone's daughter doesn't give you the right to barge right into our lives. But I can't blame her, some people tolerate her. I used to run away with H whenever L came around. I never knew I would turn out to be a lesbophobic. I never had problems with gays... (well, unless they're hitting on my man, of course).

R was confused if not jealoous. Why am I so sad that H is gone - and why did I need to cry? Maybe he didn't understand that we had a connection. He was a real friend. Always there.

Sigh, I hate people leaving. M is leaving, soon too. Thankfully, not into a reality show and at least I know - roughly - when he will be back. And a Penang trip is in order! Island beaches and waterfalls - yes please. A vacation is what we need..

I really want to hold on to my heart. Not let it break into pieces everytime the people leave.

But a girl can stand so many goodbyes...

A Touch of Reality

Lov,

It was our 1st year anniversary yesterday. So nothing to compare with S and her T, having known each other since forever and who might have too many types of anniversaries to remember anyway...

So, here I am. Telling you what I feel.

I have so many things to talk about to you, but you're so damn busy at this very moment. Always rushing to your friend's place to study, then to class, and back again. When you're not busy you're just tired, sleepy, hungry or too pissed to talk.

Don't know when the last time we really talked was. I'd had to cry, throw a little tantrum to get your attention, to get you to talk to me, to listen to how I really feel. Because, well, if you don't know already, I'm not one to strike up a conversation unless provoked. In this case, my overwhelming emotions provoke me, and usually it's after everything is too late.

I don't think you get it though, sometimes. How hard it is. You could just up and leave, anytime, you could patch it up, you'd still have time. In fact you have all the time in the world to follow your dreams, follow your heart, follow destiny. What about me? Call me insecure, old-fashioned, morbid, even.

What if we didn't make it? What if you can't fulfill your promises? What if fate bites us in the ass and the consequences are too painful to bear alone? I've been left alone far too many times, it just rips me apart, rips me to pieces and shreds me after. Do you get that? What happens to me?

We have similar priorities; but the unfortunate gap causes troubles in the real world, baby. It caused problems in Neverland, Forks, and who knows how many fantasy / reality worlds else.

It just feels far away.

Most of the times, I feel we'll make it.

Other times, times like tonight - it just feels too much to hope for.